Here’s a prayer from my forthcoming book Praying without Pretence: Honest Prayers for Honest People, due out this summer. It offers an honest exploration of what is involved in truly acknowledging our faults before God.
When our confession is only skin-deep
‘Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned.’
How often have I said something like that?
How often acknowledged that I’ve failed you,
gone astray,
let you down?
But though I think of that as honest and sincere confession,
the truth is rather different,
for such words come easily,
in danger, if I’m not careful, of lacking substance.
It’s not enough simply to admit I’ve made mistakes:
I need to name what those are –
not for your sake,
but for mine.
It’s not that you want me to wallow in shame or regret,
indulge in some kind of spiritual masochism –
I don’t believe that’s what you’re after at all.
Rather, you want me to recognise the person I am,
be truly honest with myself –
seeing the good things, certainly,
but seeing also my faults,
my errors,
my weaknesses,
so that, with your help, I can begin to change.
That petulance I show;
that selfishness,
impatience,
lack of understanding;
that greed,
pride,
intolerance,
envy:
I can’t hope to deal with such things unless I own up to them first,
and if I can’t do that with you
then I’ll never do so with myself.
Help me to learn that lesson:
to understand that confession isn’t about beating myself up,
but about opening my life to your restoring, transforming touch.
Teach me to search myself,
and to be frank about who and what I am,
so that, through your love, you might shape what I can yet become.
Amen.