Here’s a reflection from my 2008 book No Ordinary Stories: Reflective Worship Resources on the Parables, first published in 2000 as To Put It Another Way. It explores the themes of self-righteousness and humility, and above all reminds us that ours is a God who delights to have mercy on all who sincerely seek his forgiveness.
The Pharisee and the tax collector
Reading
He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt. ‘Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, “God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.” But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” I tell you, this man went home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted.’ Luke 18:9-14
Meditation of a follower of Jesus
‘Which am I?’ I wondered,
‘The Pharisee, or the tax collector?’
I’m neither, of course,
not literally,
but that wasn’t the point was it?
‘Which of the two am I most like?’
that’s what I found myself asking when Jesus first told that parable,
and I had a shrewd suspicion I wouldn’t much like the answer.
So it proved,
though perhaps not quite as I feared,
for, in actual fact –
like most of us, I suspect –
I’m a bit of both,
neither all of one nor all of the other.
There are times when I’m the tax collector –
ashamed of my faithlessness,
overwhelmed by a sense of failure,
able only to throw myself on God’s goodness,
knowing I have no claim on his love
nor any reason to expect mercy.
And at those times, just as Jesus said, I find a sense of peace,
a feeling of being right with God –
my sins forgiven,
the past absolved,
mistakes over and done with.
Only it never lasts,
for there’s always that other self refusing to be silenced,
the Pharisee within me straining to break free –
prim, proper, self-righteous,
head shaking in disapproval,
finger pointing in accusation,
so certain I am right and others wrong.
Can they both be me,
each part of the same person?
I’m afraid they are, much though it hurts to admit it.
But at least it does hurt, that’s something,
for so long as I can still see the truth,
still see myself as I really am,
and still feel a sense of shame,
then it’s not all lost –
there’s hope for me even yet.
So I’m here, Lord,
the two of me together,
tax collector and Pharisee,
and my prayer is simply this:
‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’
Prayer
Lord Jesus Christ,
we do not mean to be self-righteous
but we are,
more often than we may realise.
We claim to be accepting of others,
but when they do not conform to our expectations
we make little attempt to conceal our feelings.
We claim to recognise our faults,
but if anyone points them out to us
we are quick to take offence.
We see the speck in our neighbour’s eye
but time and again overlook the log in our own.
Forgive us our innate tendency to assume that we are right
and others are wrong.