Picking up the theme from yesterday, here’s another prayer from the book I’m currently writing, this one about acknowledging our faults and seeking God’s forgiveness.
ASH WEDNESDAY
Sprinkle me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will become whiter than snow.
Psalm 51:7
Forgive me, Lord, I repeatedly pray,
for I have sinned, gone astray, let you down –
but do I really mean it?
I wonder sometimes;
question whether I have any real intention of changing.
Or am I happy, rather, to assume that, when I fail again, always you will pardon?
Those mistakes I make –
that repeated giving in to envy, pride, greed, selfishness,
anger, malice, impatience, resentment –
am I truly resolved to overcome such things:
to put them behind me and start again?
I like to think so,
and in my better moments, yes, the intention is real, the prayer sincere,
but then the old self triumphs over the new,
and once again I’m on my knees muttering the same old refrain:
‘Lord, have mercy.’
You do, that’s the amazing thing.
Time after time you put the past behind me and invite me to start again.
And I can’t thank you enough for that.
But save me from taking such love for granted,
from assuming it can forever paper over the cracks.
Remind me that if the remorse is false, the regret a charade,
then, much though you long to pardon, I will put myself beyond it.
So today, Lord, I’m asking you once more –
earnestly, fervently, wholeheartedly –
have mercy upon me,
and help me to approximate more nearly to the person you want me to be.
Amen.