My book, The Teacher, explores aspects of daily life that touch us all, and considers the best way to approach them. It does so, though, not on the basis of some arbitrary judgement of my own, but exploring rather words of the Teacher (almost certainly, King Solomon) from the Old Testament. Then, and only then, do I reflect further on what these words may have to say to us today. This session considers the thirst for revenge – an emotion we can all harbour but that leads to devastating consequences.
Revenge
I saw the scenes at the football match: hooligans kicking, punching, wrestling, brawling – and when they were led away, the fight finally broken up, I saw hatred in their eyes, a determination to get even with their foe.
I saw the person slighted, belittled in front of their peers, and heard them mutter darkly of getting their own back, of being avenged.
Then I said to the Teacher, ‘Speak to me of vengeance and to what it leads.’
And the Teacher answered, ‘Never say, “I will do to others what they have done to me; I will get my own back and make them pay.”’
And I was chastened, for I saw that the words applied to me as much as to anyone, that none of us is exempt. For though most refrain from violence, the thirst for revenge lurks deep within us all, and when we are wronged, aggrieved, disparaged, we want redress: an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.
But I saw the folly of such a path: how revenge sets in motion a chain hard to break, demanding that we wound as we have been wounded, hurt as we have been hurt, punish as we have been punished – an endless cycle of tit for tat and blow for blow. I saw how vengeance leads to more vengeance and bitterness to more bitterness, swelling the tide of resentment and thirst for retribution. And I saw how a hunger for revenge destroys us as much as the one we seek to punish, gnawing like a moth at our very soul.
So I asked the Teacher, ‘How can we stem these waters, prevent the trickle from becoming a flood?’
And the Teacher answered, ‘If an enemy is hungry, offer them something to eat. If they are
thirsty, give them a drink. For in doing so you will pile burning coals on their head.’
I understood then that if revenge reinforces hatred, a generous spirit questions it, and that when we return evil with good, an enemy can become a friend. For though vengeance may be justified and our thirst for it natural, forgiveness opens the way to new beginnings.
And I saw that if we would further peace rather than discord we must meet violence with nonviolence, hatred with love, cruelty with kindness, and anger with gentleness, for no fire burns when starved of fuel.
The lesson, surely, is this: love though you are not loved, forgive though you are not forgiven, care though you are not cared for, give though you do not receive. Act towards others not as they’ve acted towards you, but as you would have them do so, and perhaps they too will learn to do the same.