Here’s another prayer from my forthcoming book Praying without Pretence: Honest Prayers for Honest People, due out this summer. It explores questions many of us must surely face when it comes to seeking ‘God’s will’, and when we find ourselves baulking at those who seem to treat the subject far too tritely.
When perplexed about ‘God’s will’
I think I shocked them, Lord,
my lack of faith –
or apparent lack, at least –
leaving them troubled,
dismayed.
Did I shock you too?
I hope not.
But I had to be honest;
no point pretending to believe what I don’t.
‘If the Lord wills it,’ they said.
And they were sincere,
genuine.
But to me it seemed a pious platitude –
one I simply couldn’t let pass.
For if we accept that,
what are we actually saying about you?
Do you will the natural disaster that claims the lives of hundreds?
Do you will the cancer,
the multiple sclerosis,
the dementia,
the locked-in syndrome –
destroying and denying life?
Do you will the stillborn child,
the congenital disease,
the epidemic,
the car accident?
And what of the famine,
the civil war,
the closure of the factory,
even the terrorist attack?
Wherever I look I see trials and trouble,
sorrow and tragedy –
a world in which you seem strangely absent.
So what do we mean: ‘If the Lord wills’?
Oh, I believe you have a purpose, all right;
that you desire the good,
the happiness,
the wellbeing of all.
But it seems clear that,
for reasons I don’t quite understand,
your will is constantly thwarted,
your hands somehow tied,
leaving you powerless to intervene,
forced instead simply to stand alongside us in our pain,
sharing our hurt,
tasting our tears.
It doesn’t make sense:
you, the God of all,
hamstrung to change things.
But it makes a lot more sense,
to me anyway,
than you having the ability to make a difference,
yet standing by and doing nothing.
I believe, Lord,
I really do:
that you love me
and want what’s best for us all.
But I know that so much in the world breaks your heart
as much as it does mine.
Help me to trust, despite this –
despite everything that obstructs your purpose –
that you will help to see me through,
and that one day,
finally,
in the fullness of time,
your will shall be done
and your kingdom come.
Amen.